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This month I wanted to post something that has been on my mind lately. Failure. It is a hard word. To fail, to not succeed at something. Even, to be a failure. When going through it you feel every bit the word. Depending on what it is you are failing at can be the difference of depression or even quality of life.
What I am learning as I get older is a strange fact. Failure, is just as important as success. You heard me right. Success is amazing and I wish it for everyone trying to accomplish their dreams, but failure is its counterpart and as hard as it may seem, a very important part of life.
As you grow older you will at times look back on your life and realize that each step no matter how hard or heartbreaking changed you into who you are today. Maybe who you are today is not the person you want to be, maybe you are failing right now. Want to know an awesome secret? Time moves on. One day you will look back and see your hardships and wear them like a badge of pride.
Does that mean everyone who fails one day goes on to better things? No. There is another secret though. If you want to have the best chance of success there is one thing you can and must do. Learn from these things. Worry, fear, anger, all of these are normal emotions, but never let them consume you. Have your moment to realize what you are going through in life, find out what is in your power to change and then let go of what you can't.
There is a saying that many people use, but my family has always said it, since I was a kid I've heard it. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". It is a great saying, a warrior's saying, but it is missing something. On the end needs to be added, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, if you let it." We are in control of our lives, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes, how we react to a situation is one of the most powerful gifts we have.
Anyway, here is hoping everyone learns from their mistakes and failures and finds that success we all hope for. As always, have fun and keep writing.
That's how we succeed. We learn from those failures and keep pressing forward.
ReplyDeleteYep, it is key to everything we do as artist.
DeleteI like what you added to that phrase! It really sums it up, doesn't it? I agree with this post so much! It's amazing how failure can make us grow, if we choose to learn from it. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThank you. It can make us grow for sure, hard but important lesson.
Delete"If you let it" -- genius! Our attitude makes all the difference. Someone JUST said "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" to me after I did a bit of whining...so, guess it's time to stop whining and let it make me stronger, huh?
ReplyDeleteWhat a perfect IWSG post. Thanks. :)
I get a spark every once in a while, lol. Messages from the universe must not be ignored.
DeleteThat was the perfect amendment to that phrase. "If you let it", we really are in control. Failure in some ways determine success. And yes, you are correct, we have to do our best to learn from our failure and mistakes to get to where we want to be. Even if we don't make it, we can at least try to get close enough.
ReplyDeleteReach for the stars, land on the moon sort of deal? Yeah I have learned from life so much and it has not always been an easy lessons, but I feel prepared to face whatever comes next.
DeleteLove the "if you let it" part! That's so true! If we let our failures dictate who we are, then we'll never have successes, and we won't appreciate those successes without failures.
ReplyDeleteI agree, they flavor each other.
DeleteVery true. How we react and overcome helps determine if our trials and tribulations make us stronger. Its not enough to survive. "If we let it" will help us to thrive.
ReplyDeleteAnd thriving is where it is at. :)
DeleteWhat a wonderful post and a great reminder that certain things in life do make us the people we are. Without a wide variety of life experiences and exposure to emotions, good and bad, how can we ever hope to write about them with any conviction. Experiencing some of the lows can make the highs seem even better too!
ReplyDeleteThat is a good point too. It can make our writing that much better for the first hand experience.
DeleteI am coming to understand that there is no such thing as the Charmed Life. If you haven't been run over by Life yet... well, just give it time. That truck could be barreling around the corner. No one is immune. We all fail at something. We all are hurt by people, events, or maybe plain bad luck. All of these things shape us. It is how we react that matters. The beauty of that is that you have your ENTIRE LIFE to get that reaction transformed into something positive. It isn't over until you stop breathing.
ReplyDeleteWe are always changing and growing, each day is a choice to be who we are.
DeleteI think failing is much more important than succeeding. There's a lot of character building in failure. I guess the most important thing is to learn from it, if there is a lesson to be learned. Turning a fail into a win is the greatest feeling ever, though.
ReplyDeleteIt is more important in a lot of ways. I think the more we fail the easier turning them into wins can become.
DeleteGood advice, and a strong essay on the benefits of trials, tribulations and failure!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteAs someone who has been terrified of failure all her life (and still is!), I applaud your post heartily. And while we're on the subject, what IS failure, really? Failure is totally subjective. Maybe it's just a different (and longer) road to success. Thanks for the positive post!
ReplyDeleteThat is true sometimes failure is just a step in that long journey.
DeleteA wise man learns from others' mistakes as well. Nice post.
ReplyDeleteVery true. We should always look tot hose who came before us.
Deletesometimes you just gotta fail so when you succeed you know what it tastes like...and want more of it. imagine chocolate...
ReplyDeletemmm, failure chocolate..wait...no, yeah..mmmm
DeleteDude,
ReplyDeleteYou had me nearly in a Braveheart moment, shouting out to Robert the Bruce, "Unite the clan, unite us!"
Great positive thinking and I love your add on to the old saying.
All the best for '14 and beyond.
And as Braveheart himself once said, "They may take our laptops, but they will never take our FREEDOMMM!!" :)
I'm waving my kilt around this way. Lol.
DeleteI too like your version of the old phrase. So many people allow failure to keep them from getting back up and persevering. Excellent post. (:
ReplyDeleteThank you and it is easy to do, but if we don't get back up we will never be the people we want to be.
DeleteA very inspiring post. There have definitely been times in my life that I've felt I was failing, and at the time it felt so hard and that I wouldn't recover. I have though, and have taken the time to reflect on those occasions and be proud of the person they have shaped me into.
ReplyDeleteHappy writing!
looking back is always nice, we can see that things do move on.
DeleteThanks for the encouragement to persevere. Sometimes we think that failure is the end of the road. But it can be just a place we visit along the road.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, it pays to just keep moving forward.
DeleteWhat a great post to start the year with. Here's how I look at it. If you fail, that doesn't mean your a failure. It just means you a higher place to work towards. Then, if you do succeed, you've failed at being a failure. So really, there is no getting away from failure. Make it your friend and it will make your stronger in the end. :)
ReplyDeleteI like that. I want to fail at being a failure.
DeleteIf you let it. Yes indeed. Great post. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteYou are so right. I am who I am because of all the horrible and the great experiences I've had.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
They both matter.
Delete"A warriors saying." I like that attitude. We authors (and individuals) battle everyday to keep writing, to keep living our lives, to make sense of the world. Fit hits the Shan everyday, right! And some things we are just meant to fail at so we move on to the next phase.
ReplyDelete......dhole
Something is always waiting to go wrong, but we can all make it through.
DeleteBrandon - Thanks for the great post. I always think that things work out for me. When my husband pointed out once that this wasn't true I had to look at what he was saying. Partially he is right because things rarely work out how I want them to. But, they always seem to work out how they should. It is good to be able to accept what we go through and know that it made us the person we are today.
ReplyDeleteLeanne ( http://readfaced.wordpress.com )
That is true sometimes we think we have failed when really we just didn't know what was good for us at the time.
DeleteI'm glad you found your way to me. IT was my pleasure to visit you and I'm glad you enjoyed my words.
ReplyDeleteAmen, brother.
ReplyDeleteAnd failing gives us discipline for when our success really does come. We don't go and blow it all like MC Hammer, cuz we worked so hard and place such value on it during the journey. (lol to MC Hammer--first guy that comes to mind when it comes to blowing it.)
Yes he comes to mind for me as well. It is a good point, we have to be able to appreciate when it gets here.
DeleteBrandon, you have it figured out. You couldn't be more right. I always enjoy your words <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, that is nice to hear.
ReplyDeleteI'm late to this party. But better late than... well you know the rest. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're totally right. Failure makes you bitter or it makes you better. And it's only up to you.
Having solidified the decision to go indie with my book (for better or worse) I'm not only grateful for the agents and editors who turned me down (in what felt like scathing failure at the time), I grow a bit scared when I wonder what would have happened if one of them had actually made me an offer and I'd bound myself to their expectations and schedule. That is, most certainly, not Silexare's role - to be bound.