Monday, April 1, 2013

The creeping doubt.

Okay so I'm cheating with a cute picture of my puppy, but it is so cute it scares the doubt away and I can tie it in I swear. 

I have been super busy these past couple of months. I have been working on two new WIPs and doing last minute revisions on Elemental.

I will always look for traditional publishing for my work, but have decided—as I said in an earlier post— to self publish my first finished novel instead. I think it will be good to see how others react to my writing. I also have been reading and many successful authors are even recommending going this route for a first time author. It can be a good way to get your name out there.

I found someone to do a cover for me and have been completely happy with the process so far. I have gotten some of my beta readers lined up for a last look over and have been steadily moving my way back through the text. All work to try and make the final product as good as it can be before I give it to the world.

I can remember when the story idea came to me for Elemental. I had been working in my fantasy world trying to build the story for my Epic saga(that will one day come to completion). I remember thinking of how cool it would be to write about people who could control the elements. Of course it was just an idea, something to toy with when my mind was too clogged with relics and assassins. It wasn't until Sophia formed that I knew I had to write this story. She was real, she had parts of me and others I held to high regard inside of her. I didn't have trouble understanding who she was and I got excited as I thought of sending her into this new world I'd created.

It took me eight months to write my first draft and then two years to learn the business side of trying to get the book to print. In that time the book has been read and critiqued and re-written, re-read and re-critiqued. I had someone brought to tears in a scene and had several people tell me they wanted to throw the book across the room (but in a good way) because of another. All of this time has shown me that while the book may not be perfect it is good. That it can evoke emotion and carry the reader on a journey and as an author I could ask no more from it.

So it is funny as I lay there in my bed the other night I started to doubt. I doubted the book and myself. I lay there turning thinking of other things I'd written lately and trying to compare them. I asked myself why I didn't just move on from this book it was my first one anyway. Finally I fell asleep and when I woke the next day my mood was sour. I didn't want to work on the book or check for an update on the cover. My wife noticed my ill disposition and inquired as to what was wrong.(AKA "What's your problem.") I grumbled out something about not being sure of the book. Having read it she began to reassure me that I wasn't crazy that the story was there. I wanted to believe her, but several negative thoughts from the night before were winning out over years of praise.

It was then that my wife(being the smart one of the two of us) gave me some golden advice. She said, "I know it's good and you do too, but if you keep sitting on it no one else will be able to see it." I wanted to grumble some more, but I realized she was right. So I grabbed my puppy(see worked it in (: ) and got back into my revision. It wasn't long before I was enjoying myself and the story once more and the evil doubt demon was pushed back under the bed.

I have heard the quote in many different forms, but the simple truth is the fear of failure will cause you to fail. Sometimes you have to believe in yourself and do something scary because it is time to do so.

Anyways, as always have fun and keep writing.


  1. My husband said something similar to me, as well. Sometimes it just takes that one little reminder to get the fire lit under you again.

    Love the puppy!

    Jessica @ Visions of Other Worlds
    Twitter: @jmarcarelli, #atozchallenge

    1. lol, yes it does. And the puppy is a little devil, but its cuteness counters this fact.

  2. Good job pushing the doubt demon back again. Not sure it ever goes away completely, but I'm reassured by many that that's just part of the writer-package. Not sure that's very reassuring after all, but *shrug* Nice to know you're not the only one, right?

    I'm really interested in how your publishing process progresses. Are you going to keep us updated here?

    1. Yeah as soon as my cover is done I will post it here then I will let everyone know when the book is up. I know it is just the start of the journey, but I'm excited for it and glad to share any info I gain from it.

  3. I have the same fears. I think it's a writer thing. We're kind of an insecure lot. That's why having a supportive wife or husband is nice:)

    1. I agree, it helps a lot when anyone you care about believes in you.

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