So my mom put this picture up for mother's day. Yes that little king baby (Wow I am now hearing Bruce Campbell's voice saying— The King, Baby!) is me. Also yes that is a book in my hand. This picture had me getting all sappy about family so I figured I'd sling some of that sap on you guys.
A few years ago my wife and I had a discussion while I waited in the car for her shift to end so I could go into the same place and start mine, our two children were in the back seat asleep. The situation was not ideal. We had talked about one of us changing shifts, but neither one wanted to put our babies in daycare(too many horror stories). She had just gotten a raise and she told me I should stay home with them and write.
Now you have to understand while writing is now and has been my dream job for a good portion of my life, I was raised that the man goes to work and brings home the money or at least helps to. So while the artist in me enjoyed what she was saying, the male dominant side of me argued. We ended up agreeing that I would give it a shot.
Since then I have gone insane at times and taken crap jobs just to get out of the house, but for the most part it has been our lives for the past few years. Stay at home dad/aspiring author, this is my title.
I will say that while I have struggled with it, it has been a gift in two major ways. One, my writing, I couldn't have come as far as I have without her believing in me enough to stay on my butt about it. The other is the joy of raising my kids and seeing moments that a lot of fathers miss out on.
I got to teach both my children to read way before they started school, help them be potty trained and take them to both of their first days of school. I will say that being a father has made me a better person and as such I believe it has made me a better writer. I get to be there to make sure my daughter knows she is loved and beautiful and intelligent and capable of anything. To show my son how to draw the crazy things his wonderful imagination comes up with all the time. To teach him how to treat women and people in general. To be strong yet gentle and have integrity.
I sometimes look at my home and feel its walls pressing in, but it is times like these I remember how lucky I am to spend so much personal time with people who love and support me so much and I have to smile. As I now put my books out and continue to grow and refine my craft, I am blessed to have such a great cheering squad at my back.
Oh and because I promised it to an awesome friend of mine, here is Bax and Axie as babies.
Anyway this is my reflection on my family and life, who are the people that push you to be better? As always have fun and keep writing.
Mark Koopmans is a stay at home father and writer as well.ReplyDelete
The man in me wouldn't want to be anything but the supplier for our family, but then again, I don't want to be a full time writer either. (Full time rock star is another story!) But my wife has encouraged me to write and somehow I manage to do everything.
Yeah I was there, for me I just had to let go of my ego and try it out. Still don't always enjoy it, but it has had its perks and may pay off one day :)Delete
I am a wife, but I understand your dilemma...I have always intended to work, and have always hated the idea of staying at home. I want to be a career woman, but I'd also love to write at home (and take care of future children). It's a struggle and I like that you see both sides of that struggle, and yet still recognize the positives of it!ReplyDelete
I definitely see both sides and any guy out there that has or does say woman who stay at home don't work need a reality check. At least when you have a job outside the house you get to clock out, lol.Delete
I push myself to be better. I love your post. It's beautiful, and I'm glad you recovered from your macho need to go out and earn money. It sounds as if you are where you should be.ReplyDelete
Hey who better to push you than yourself, you're always there. I am glad as well that I left most of my macho behind.Delete
Up until last year I was working 10hrs a day in Corporate America while being a full time mom and wife and I was burnt out. Yet, when my position was eliminated I cried because I've always only known work. I realized pretty quickly that this was the opportunity I needed to finish working on my manuscript of 2 years.ReplyDelete
I am so happy and blessed to be home with the kids and experience all of the joys you've experienced also. And beyond that its just extra blessings to have the chance to concentrate on being a writer and following those dreams.
Your wife is awesome and she rocks. Having my husband's support have made a difference and so I know how important their cheers are. Glad you were able to readjust your macho attitude on this issue and took advantage of this opportunity.
LOL on the one sole chin hair on Baby Bax... and oh my goodness! Could Baby Axie get any cuter????? :::pinching cheeks::: ::tickle, tickle:: Most adorable baby dragon ever. #awesomefriendsareawesome
I agree, it is hard to let go, but sometimes you have to take a risk and see what happens.Delete
Yay for awesome spouses.
Yeah he wins the cute dragon baby award for sure. #awesomefriendsaretheawesomest
This is a beautiful post. And I love the super cute drawing. :)ReplyDelete
Ty and ty.Delete
What a wonderful post about the love of family. May your homeschooling be well worth the effort in effect and memories, and your writing bring in the bacon! Kudos to your wife for backing up your dreams. Writer’s MarkReplyDelete